Saturday, 15 January 2011

Welcome to Charm-ageddon - Unleashing my Social Freedom on the Masses

If you've just run across this blog, check out my first post, it might explain this a bit more.

I figured out at an early age that if you're funny, everybody will like you.

Don't be the class clown, be the class comedian. I sometimes think that I might just know what people like to hear, but in my heart I think I actually give a crap. About people. And love to make them feel good.

Put it this way, I couldn't roll up to a group of plasticy night club bottle rats and have any hope of them giving me the time of day in the middle of a loud, crowded night club.

But, put me at a table with the same group, at a party with an hour at my disposal, and they have no chance. Not that I'm going home with any of them, but I'll be contending for BFF status within the hour.

For the better part of four years this wonderful chunk of my personality has been stuffed in a garbage bag, duct taped, chained inside of a trunk and sunk to the bottom of the ocean with Dexter-like anonymity. And when I realized I could still be like that. Well was on.

Its an interesting feeling when you have unwavering confidence in your abilities. Don't think for one second my ego isn't held in check by numerous painful and humiliating failures...but I think true confidence isn't blind and nonobjective, its knowing that you CAN do something while having enough perspective to realize that sometimes you might not.

This was me when I was corralled from the pits of pseudo depression by my amigo's, and sent out into the big bad world of single-dom.

Like being shot out of an awesomecannon with two six-shooters full of "Fuck-yeah!"

Needless to say, these stories are all as true as they can be while protecting everybody involved. The essence remains intact but they're simply the ramblings of a dude that looks around sometimes and thinks that he is the only one in here.

In reality, I'm just single, struggling and like to meet people. That's it.

One thing I need to mention is that I can dance. Kinda well. I'm not "formally" trained but have a lot of practice. If I'm in a club full of white dudes, I can generally get the "Where the hell did THAT come from!??!" reaction from people. None of my siblings can dance, not sure about my parents, and I am as anglo-saxon as they come...and for some ridiculous reason I can just move.

If there's one single piece of advice I can offer to any Dads that want to give their little dudes a leg up in their future social lives...especially with the opposite sex...drag their assess to a hip hop class. Trust me. You could be ugly, shy, overweight... but if you can shake it, you'll do ok.


Many people who have known me in my past know this about me; a couple beers and a good song, and I'm off. One of the most amazing experiences you can have with a person is to dance with them. Like lose yourself dance with somebody. So many of my friends can't relate to this and unfortunately I'm not inviting the dudes over to my pad to show them what its like to grind to a Lucy Pearl they'll never know.

Girls on the other hand, well, the vast majority of girls can shake many of them know this feeling...and really like to find it. Let me explain:

A fresh haircut, a new shirt (T-Shirt time!!) some friends at my apartment pre-drinking, laughing our faces off, go to a lounge, half-cut, appy's,  a few more drinks. Feeling POPPIN' and head out to a Its dark and hot and sweaty and you're faded and having an amazing time, feeling good &  looking good and then....then your song comes on. BAM! You're in a goddamn music video.

THATS the feeling I chase. Like a freaking drug.

THAT 3 minutes where you and whoever are with are literally on another planet completely lost in that moment. You can't buy that feeling. Thats is why I started dancing, and thats why you need to learn. Also. Girls really like it.

I have only ever had a relationship with one person that could keep up with me on the dance floor. And I'll tell you, that's a way to keep the spark alive. You've had a long work week, you're grumpy and tired.

Get faded and go dance. Dance your asses off. And if somebody can really feel it with you...holy shit people. That is an attraction you can't fake.

So, this little adventure of mine began with the realization that I haven't danced in over four years.

The girl I was with couldn't dance well, and wasn't keen on me seeking out that type of connection with anybody else. Fair enough. Result; No dancing.

Could I call this a regret? I think a Fuck ya is in order. there a lesson learned here?

Relationships are about compromise, communication and sacrifice, but if somebody is making you sacrifice a fundamental part of your personal identity...shit ain't good. Change it.

I dance now. As much as I can. One of the best parts of being single. I chase those moments and it keeps me going through all of the crap.

They say you should dance like nobody's watching...screw that...put on a frickin show, and sell tickets 


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