If you've just run across this blog, check out my first post, it might explain this a bit more.
I've always been so intrigued when girl friends of mine tell stories of getting creeped on facebook.
I mean, its pretty blatant in the actual design of the damn website that it is reserved for "friends" to keep in contact. And even though a "friend" on facebook is the loosest sense of the word, there is still somewhat of an unwritten rule saying "Hey, I KNOW you in some way, let's stay in contact".
I can't for the life of me figure out how dudes would think its cool to just try to add a girl based on a picture they saw on another friends profile. For starters, unless you're in the picture yourself, you are obviously creeping...which is essentially what facebook is for, but as long as we all continue to do it without openly talking about it, it can remain our dirty little secret. All of ours.
Secondly, reaching out and contacting somebody without actually "knowing" them is desperate and weird on a whole different level, and takes a whole lot of self UN-awareness to go through with it. I mean there are legit reasons sometimes, but I hear stories all the time where random people just ask to be a friend. Boggles my little mind it does.
That being said. It only is weird for boys, because I got facestalked by a girl. And. It. Was. Awesome. One of the most flattering things that has ever happened to me. The story goes like this:
My business partner and myself were attending an industry event at a reasonably posh lounge. One of the typical schmooze-fests that tech industry folk love to throw together. Now I'm as social a guy as any, but meeting people so unnaturally makes my skin crawl. There's nothing organic or natural about the interactions at these things. I like to meet people, not their business representatives. Opening a conversation with "What do you do?" and handing a person a card is the social equivalent of a coffee vending machine.
So as I slog through this event, I spend most of the time sidled up to the bar minding my own, making polite conversation with the bartending staff. I feel comfortable doing that most times because I can often identify with the sheer boredom or exhaustion or half-assed attempts to remain charismatic that comes with the job.
Now I don't remember being extraordinarily funny or witty or anything, but I'd like to believe that I was a refreshing distraction from the revolving door of "I'm so awesome" business professionals barking their martini orders at the staff. I did speak a tad more with one of the ladies behind the bar, who - since I was drinking water - opted to make me a special flavor and fruit filled non-alcoholic beverage. I thought that was quite nice. But that's it.
As the event ended, I politely said my goodbyes and hit the ol' dusty road.
The next morning I get a facebook message with the subject line: "We didnt exchange numbers..."
The message body continued..."So I had to resort to finding you via facebook, which feels creepy and exciting at the same time."
I check the person who sent it, I don't recognize the name. I race through the profile pictures...and then it hits me...special flavor and fruit filled non-alcoholic beverage girl!
Well, well... I chortled as I stroke my beard...
And I immediately start thinking...is this creepy? Like how did she know how to find me? Did I say my last name? No way she remembered. Did I mention where I work? Should I be scared of this person?
Then I realized, if this was a dude doing this to a girl....that's a 99 on the creep-o-meter...but a girl doing it to a boy? An attractive girl? RAD!
She suggested I call, ummm...fuck ya.
Aaaand she turned out to be pretty awesome, if not somewhat eccentric, but in a totally awesome kind of way. Even showed up with a bottle of bubbly, what girl does that?
The kind that has the cojones to reach out to a random dude on facebook and drop them a line. Fucking fearless.
Man I'm glad she wasn't a psycho. (whew)