Why You Can't Pick Up A Waitress

I've worked in the hospitality industry for a very long time. As a waiter, bartender, bar back, busser, promoter, host....you name it, I've done it. Even to this day I stay involved in the nightlife here and there. I love being social and out and about.

Now guys we've all tried it. Sometimes you can't help yourself...you have a few in ya, some attractive and charming young lass is making eyes at you, striking up a conversation, laughing at your terrible jokes. Its a perfect storm of libido stroking and false hopes. The best waitresses and bartenders make you think you've got a shot. But what so many dudes forget is...ahem...that's their FREAKING job!!

I know it can be very confusing for us boys,  but there are a few things you need to consider here; one - she being paid to feed you. And two; hitting on a girl who can't get away is awfully creepy. If she's not interested, she's still stuck hanging with you for another hour.


Also you need to know something; you treat beautiful girls differently than not beautiful girls. You probably don't know it, but subconsciously you do....and the problem for you is that they know it. How do I know this? Because I have worked/work in the industry, and have been around those people for a long long time. I've watched it happen a million times.

These people are professional flirters. Their rent depends on it. It's not to say that they are all completely insincere, but these people get hit on for a living. By dozens and dozens of dudes every single day. They've heard every line, done every shot and received every advance imaginable.

But, you thinking you have a chance has a direct correlation to how much money they make...and they know that.

It doesn't help that for the most part, servers and bartender are skewed to the better looking end of the population, and oftentimes they've spent their lives being good looking, so you end up with a cornucopia of people confident in that part of themselves with hours upon hours of practice exploiting it.

Pretty much, you don't stand a chance of avoiding the web of awesome they will spin around you if they feel like it. You're playing pick-up basketball with Kobe here.

This post is here simply to give you perspective, because I watch guy after guy get their hopes up, drop a fat tip and then get blasted when they try to close it.

This is a public service announcement. Just stop. I'm sure you're rad, but just understand what you're getting into, you're probably not the only guy she is currently serving that she's making feel like a million bucks.

Of course it happens, and some dudes have a lot of success with the ladies in that arena, but I'm guessing most of us don't, so I'm saving you the trouble.

I say hey, just keep tipping, they still work their asses off and its not like it doesn't feel AWESOME to have some beautiful charismatic lady pay attention to you for a few hours while you eat or watch a game right?

Don't take offense, and don't think less of them, just know that if they were a dental hygienist you proooobably wouldn't leave the office thinking that she wanted to make out with you.