Friday, 4 March 2011

Yacht Girl - Part 1

If you've just run across this blog, check out my first post, it might explain this a bit more.

For the last few months I have literally numbed my entire psyche with booze and other shiny objects I could find to help divert my attention.

The problem is when I became single I immediately lost the identity I had clung to for the past four and a half years. I wasn't a "couple" anymore.

So naturally I reverted back to where I was and what I was doing the last time I was single. Ya. Back then I was working as a bartender/waiter/club promoter. I naturally have a ton of energy, but how I managed to work all day, serve all night and be out at the club till 4 am blows my freakin' mind. I literally don't know how it was possible, but I'm certain that I took 10 - 15 years off of my life during my mid-twenties.

Above all else, I can only describe the feeling over the first few months as lost. Exactly like wandering through the woods searching for something that you know you have to find but no idea what it is and with no sense of direction after just waking up. Foggy oblivion.

Well I went into a fine Sept weekend heading out of town to a very close friends wedding. Packed in a car with some of the best people I know on this planet, and for the first time in months I felt like I was okay in my own skin.

It's a pretty crazy feeling, but since I have very little family myself, it helps me explain why people always go home for the holidays regardless of the craziness and infighting and blowups that seem to happen to every family over the holidays. Its a safety net. You know that no matter what...they'll love you (exceptions to every rule, all families have "that" uncle).

You just feel welcome and comfortable with everyone and everything.

That's kinda like what driving to and arriving at this wedding felt like. The entire wedding stayed in a lakeside boutique hotel together and I was surrounded by people who had known me for years and loved me to death.
It was an amazing feeling - one I hadn't had in literally forever - and I think it contributed to the amazing weekend I had, a weekend hi lighted by the appearance of Yacht Girl.

The first night before the wedding was an evening of cocktails where all the guests could hang out, mingle and get to know one another. It was so much fun. Reconnecting with people you hadn't seen in years but actually  give a crap about. Needless to say at a point late in the evening I decide I have had such an amazing night, I'd like to head back to the hotel bar and have some scotch and smoke a stogie with one of my who is notorious for pulling the chute and escaping to bed unseen at the drop of a hat...and then go to sleep. I was sooo content.

The hotel bar happened to be packed, apparently it was kind of a "spot" for locals on the weekend, so it was packed. Packed with...people my age...all over the place! As my friend tended to the scotch, I sidled up to a table of two ladies, and without hesitation went right to the..."Heyyy, not from around know what time this place closes?" I really wasn't expecting much, but I'd had enough liquid courage and such a great night that I didn't care what happened. I was feelin that rad. Well I happened to hit it off with a lovely young blonde girl. She was pretty funny, (Secret: A girl could be an 8...but make me actually laugh? You're a 20.)

This young lass began busting my chops a bit, which I kinda love. I mean among the guys, that's what I do, I talk smack. So when I meet somebody that can take it to me a bit...without being an obnoxious twit...its awesome.

This is how rad this girl was: Imagine gorgeous, blonde, looked me straight in the eye, and at the point it came for exchanging numbers, I gave her mine, she added it into her phone and sent me the following text right then and there: "Suck It".


I knew then I had to find out about this girl.

But as we continued to chat and hit it off I began noticing the sharks circling...dudes coming by that her and her friend knew...not unusual stuff, but I began setting myself up for a quick exit and bed (note: I introduced my Houdini like friend to these ladies right of the bat, but the next time I turned around....poof...he was gone.). It was at this point that a dude walked up to all of us and (addressing the ladies) said, hey, lets go on my boat. I was literally half way through my "Alrighty, have a sweet time, I'm outta here" speech when she turned to me and said, "Why don't you come with me?"

My mind raced..."AWESOME!" Also, "Can I afford to lose a kidney? Should I take my I.D. to identify the body? Is this girl awesome enough to risk her and her friends turning into vampires and feasting on this unsuspecting out-of-towner?:"

All answers came back the same: FUCK. YES.

So off to this boat I go, and as this monster pulls away from the dock in the middle of the night I realize Two things. One, nobody knows I'm gone...on a the middle of the night...and matter what, this is gonna be awesome.

Keep in mind that I don't know anybody but bar girl and her friend...sorta. So I am officially "dude who tagged along with hot chick to intimate yacht party that was clearly intended to be more gals than guys". Yup, I am an aquatic cockblocker...completely unintentional. Not that I care so much normally, but I'm not at a club or a party, I can't just grab this girl and leave or sneak away to a corner and chat. So awkwardness aside, there still is the business of this young filly (As we get further from shore I keep looking back to land and calculating if I could make it to shore.)

As we set out on the open water, what most people don't realize that high speed, at night, on a boat...not so awesome. Its loud, blustery and although it was great weather, its still cold. Bonus here? Yacht girl is chilly.

I now have the best smelling blanket on earth.

Read Part 2 of "Yacht Girl" Here.

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